The Man In The Hat

He saunters into the store looking like a cowboy from America, that is, if you can ignore the beer belly hanging over the top of his crusted up old black denim jeans, the three plugger cheap rubber thongs on his feet and the look of a months long unwashed body. But upon this man's head is a ?? 5 gallon hat ?? Not an Aussie Akubra or even an Akubra knock-off, but a genuine American cowboy hat, and when I say upon his head, I mean ON his head, not fitting down properly to the ears, but perched upon his unruly, dirty mop of black hair. I swear if I didn't work alone I would have been placing bets on how long it would stay on his head whilst he leant down to view stock.
Mr Wanna-Be Cowboy walks down one of the aisles with a dvd case in hand, and loudly asks (whilst still about 10 metres away from me) "A few questions about these movies" I wait until he gets to the counter because I am buggered if I am going to yell from half a store away to him. "What would you like to know?" "Uh can I buy em?" "Yes sir you may purchase anything you like, everything but myself is for sale in this shop" What I would have liked to say; "No dickhead, they are our Christmas decorations, put the bloody thing back before I call the cops, for fuck sake, of course you can buy them, they are not there just to give you guys a thrill by looking at them" But of course I didn't say that.
Mr Wanna-Be Cowboy then says"Well how much are they?" "All the prices are on the back of the cases sir, every dvd has a price on it" SMILE. Oh god I am being pleasant again!
"Alright, ummm I will take this one, and go have a look for some more"
Oh gooody, he has picked the cheapest dvd in the store, not holding out any hopes of getting a good sale from this guy? Finally he makes his purchase of 3 cheap dvd's and swaggers out of the store with his crappy fake cowboy hat wobbling atop his dirty head, oh please please please, let there be a strong wind outside :)