A Day Off

It is Sunday today, I, luckily enough, don't work Sundays. So I will tell you another weird but true story.
It's a weekday (quite a few months ago) and a bloke comes in, probably aged in his early to mid twenties, fairly tall chappy, in his work clothes which looked like construction, grubby looking dreadlocks. Well this young chappy wanders around the store looking at the dvd's, nothing unusual so far except for the fact that he is now performing one of my pet peeves, he is turning all the dvd's over to read the backs, that in itself is not my peeve, he is doing it whilst they are still on the shelf and leaving them like that, back to front arrrrrrrrgh. Yes my son, I was put upon this earth, in this job just to tidy up after you, you lazy so and so. I digress, sorry.
This young chappy has turned over at least 30 dvd's, and is standing in front of the shelf reading them, a glance at the CCTV camera screen and I notice something a little unusual, I lean forward towards the screen to get a better look, I have to be sure that what I am seeing is really what is happening. IT IS!!!!! The young chappy has pulled down the front of his pants and is in the process of giving his little fella a bit of freedom, oh hang on, he is now proceeding to choke the poor little thing! I better put an end to this before someone gets hurt. Plus, I don't really fancy cleaning up some dirty little turds cum stains off the bloody walls, shelves and carpet!
Going halfway down the store towards him very quietly, wishing I had remembered to bring the scissors with me so I could chop his bloody fingers off, I said "Hey matey, look to your left, then look to your right lots of bloody cameras in here, you better put that thing away before it makes it's way onto youtube for everyone to laugh at". Quickly and sheepishly he pulls up his pants and bolts for the door. I know what you are thinking, could have used a better line than that, and you would be right! I spent the rest of the day thinking of all the woulda shoulda couldas. But........such is life huh? I did okay on the spur of the moment, and who knows, if he ever shows his face in the shop again....................I might just put him on youtube and let him watch :)