That's Enough Lads

Nice interesting groups of young lads came into the store today, not a one of them over 20. I have a strong suspicion it was the first time in a store like this for at least three of the four young lads as there was a lot of giggling and carry on coming from them. I heaved a big sigh and wondered how long I was going to be tormented by the idiotic noises coming from this small group of physically but not mentally post pubescent boys. After they giggled and stirred each other up over the fake pussies and the penis pumps they made their way to the vibrator section. Now first thought when a group of young lads head in that direction is always...18th or 21st birthday party for a mate or Buck party. After they had giggled some more over the vibrators and yelled loudly that so and so would love this I had had enough and decided it was time to put my shit kicker boots on and either get them to buy something or get them to fuck off out of the shop.
"How can I help you guys today" said nice cheerful sales lady
"It's our friends birthday and we wanna get her a vibrator" pipes up young lad spokeslad of the year.
"Ah, is it a joke present or a serious present"
Dumbfounded looks, oh sorry, forgot to speak young person again, stupid stupid me, remember the K.I.S.S method.
At this stage feeling like I should be chewing gum and a g-string poking through the back of my pants.
"Is she going to use it or you guys just trying to piss her off or embarrass her"
Funny how they all have to look at each other before one of them can answer, do young people have some form of mental telepathy nowadays or are they just sheep?
"Yeah" is the response I am given, once again from the spokeslad. Ahh that narrows it down. But being a little bit psychic I say, you want something that is going to embarrass her but she might use it when she is on her own. "Yeah, yeah that's it"
O.K so how about a kit, they have all different types of vibes in them.
NAH! too plain.
O.K how about this vibe here, it has all the bells and whistles and 16 different functions to boot.
NAH!
O.K well I think I know what you are after, this one is something else and it has a function on it that no other vibe we have here has.
Eyes lighting up, eagerness abounds, voices all going at once.
Come with me lads and I will show you.
Off to the counter, place the 4 AA batteries that it requires in it and turn the machine from hell on.
Holy Fuck! Oh man oh man we gotta get that, holy shit do you see that thing, mofo thing is fucked up.
Settle down boys it is just a vibrator, sure it is a little different than most, but still just a vibe.
Happy with their purchase for their dear friend they noisily make their way out of the shop and hopefully my life :)